| |..†..| You'll Be Happy On The Day I Die |..†..| |
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[09 Jul 2005|10:31pm] |
hawl motherfuckers lol
if ive added u with my new journal add me back goddamnit
thers a distinct lack of adds taking place =p
or is it just that you all dont love me *Cries*
ok *takes the hint*
*runs away*
xx
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[03 Jul 2005|01:46pm] |
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absm - glitter like glass (live) |
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right kids..
new livejournal..
mercyme__x
cause.. i want it to be friends only.. and im not goin through every single one of these entries and makin them all friends only.. lol
plus im growing tired of this mr_razorblade thing.. bn usin it for about.. 2 years? lol
so aye anyway.. add itttt.. if ye want tht is..
xx ♥
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[27 Jun 2005|04:55am] |
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feeder - just the way i'm feeling |
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Love in, love out, find the feeling
Scream in, scream out, time for healing
You feel the moments gone too soon
You're watching clouds come over you
Torn in two
You close your eyes for some place new
Torn in two
And I feel it's going down
Ten feet below the ground
I'm waiting for your healing hand
One touch could bring me round
I feel we're going down
Ten feet below the ground
It's just the way I'm feeling
Glow in, burn out
Lost the feeling
Bruise in, you bruise out
Nurse the bleeding
Torn in two
Each time we bruise
And I feel it's going down
Ten feet below the ground
I'm waiting for your healing hand
One touch could bring me round
I feel we're going down
Ten feet below the ground
It's just the way I'm feeling
Yeah yeah, it's just the way I'm feeling
Two different views
As words confuse and break
I can't get out
There's no way out of here
I can't get clear
Love in, love out
Find the feeling
And I feel it's going down
Ten feet below the ground
I'm waiting for your healing hand
One touch could bring me round
I feel we're going down
Ten feet below the ground
It's just the way I'm feeling
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[27 Jun 2005|01:17am] |
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james blunt - you're beautiful |
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There's a sentence.. that i have to type.. to get it out of me.. but i dont want to type it.. cause i know it'll trigger all sorts of shit that i dont want.. but that sentence.. is going to kill me..
"she's not waking up today, shes never waking up again"
they were the first words to come out of my mums mouth this morning.. and i cant stop saying them over and over in my head without it making me shed some tears cause i can remember my mums exact facial expression as she said it.. while choking on her tears.. and it hurts so much to just think about it..
im still expecting to wake up and this to have not happened.. cause its just so.. not realistic.. how does something like this happen..? if about 9 doctors didnt understand it.. how the fuck can it be real..? it cant be.. thats the point.. so im expecting to just wake up and everything to be fine, for my cousins and my uncle to be fine again.. and happy.. and to only have shitty little problems that can be solved no problem.. not this shite.. i want for my mum to be ok.. exactly the same as louise sees her dad.. i have never seen my mum like this in my entire life.. sitting there in louises front room this morning talking to stephen and louise and mark and jenny.. just the things that came out of her mouth.. the things she had to say.. just broke my fucking heart.. cause i know nothing will ever.. EVER make her ok again.. there is actually no way she'll get over this.. and theres more to come.. whether its sooner or later.. its going to happen.. and its so fucking unfair on her..
yet again ive ran out of things to type.. so aye..
bye.
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[26 Jun 2005|12:33am] |
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absm - divide by two |
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26 of June, 2005
Ok..
Heres the fucking big entry..
Cause it feels like a valid fucking time to make one..ok?
Well.. life is fucked..
How something so fucking important to you, that means so fucking much, that you depend on being there for your ENTIRE fucking life.. is taken away from you.. in a day.. what the fuck.. ( just so you know the word FUCK is going to take a very dominant part in this update.. )
I actually can't believe it's happened.. i can't believe it's happened.. why were we not informed of any signs.. of whateverw ould happen.. i know its not her fault, i will never EVER blame her for anything because she did fuck all wrong.. she just tried to live her life to a standard that she saw suitable.. that i saw suitable.. that her FAMILY saw suitable.. and she did a damn fucking good job of it
I can't believe i'm never going to see my own aunt again.. the strange thing is.. i can't remember my own grandads voice.. because i didn't think enough about it at time.. but i will be DAMNED if i'll ever forget how the coolest aunt in the history of the worlds voice sounded..
I hate not being able to remember things like that..
Just today.. walking about town. everything was fucking great.. everyone was happy.. yas.. we're gon tae get pished.. am quite pished right now to be honest.. but typing very VERY carefully.. but yeah anyway.. i was happy today..
Until my sister phoned me..
I actually went numb.. I couldn't believe it.. a phone call that i thought was about a fucking job application. was to take an effect on my life.. on louises <33 life .. on marks <33 life on stephens <33 life.. on my mums life <33..
I can't even imagine what she's going through just now..
Her own sister.. her YOUNGER sister.. the person she's grown up with.. been amazing friends with.. her entire life.. is now gone.. forever and how shite im feeling is absolutely NOTHING compared to what she feels..
( And you would not believe how shite i feel right now.. like.. .. ohgod i wont even say it )
I just want to be with my mum.. and hold her. and hug her.. and tell her i love her.. but i did that already.. for about half an hour.. i just sat there hugging her.. and then i walked into the kitchen..
And broke down into the worst crying ive ever done.. my sister heard me from the other room and had to come into the kitchen to try comfort me.. And then we came on here to speak to Louise <3 and told her if she ever needs anything NOT MATTER HOW SMALL OR HOW BIG she is to come to us.. because we are always here for her <33333333333
I don't even know what else to type..
My emotions are fucked..
I actually can't believe it..
I loved auntie margot so fucking much.. she was amazing, no-one could compare to her personality.. how happy she'd be every time i saw her.. i guess the only consolation is that she managed to see her daughter grow up into a woman.. now matter how young it was.. it happened.. and she was there for it..
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAREGHRGHHR *stab* i fucking hate how life works..
i'm gonna go now.. cause i dont know what else to type..
*i'm so brave, i'm in debt now, can you help me, PLEASE*
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[25 Jun 2005|11:19pm] |
R.I.P
I'll love you forever-and ever- and ever until the end of time
xX.xX ♥ ♥ ♥
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[23 Jun 2005|10:11pm] |
Right people..
Suggest songs for me to play..
this way youll have some initiative to come see me =p
So far i have
The Quietest Always Screams Loudest
My Jigsaw Heart
Blue in the Face - Alkaline Trio
From Fear To Eternity
A Song For a Loved One
The Quiet Things That No-one Ever Knows - Brand New
Ever So Sweet - The Early November
So aye.. suggestions..
xx ♥
[EDIT;] Don't Look Back in Anger - Oasis OH AYE!! lol =p
Letters To You - Finch =)
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[23 Jun 2005|09:46pm] |
RIGHT
i'm doing the acoustic show lol
So you all need to come see me and support me =(
... and if you dont i'll hate you and call you all wanks forever.. lol =p .. but seriously.. i wil hate you.. lol =p
AYE anyway.. so.. yer comin along.. i dno what the price wil bee.. ye can find tht out at the door.. but we get ont he Drumgelloch train and get off at airdrie then the person will meet us to take us the place =)
so aye..
MON!
xx ♥
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[23 Jun 2005|04:15pm] |
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music |
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a song for a loved one |
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RIGHT
Big Big BIG important question...
SHOULD I GO DO AN ACOUSTIC SET AT A GIG IN AIRDRIE NEXT FRIDAY?!?
You see.. the thing is.. i really REALLY want to.. but i'm shittin myself cause it'll just be me on stage.. with an acoustic.. and i can't blame any mistakes on the drummer or bassist *Scared look* so ayee.. help meeeee =(
Plus: I can only think of 4 songs i could play at it so far.. =| *eeeep*
HELP ME!!!
xx ♥♥
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[23 Jun 2005|02:18am] |
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biffy clyro - justboy |
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"Guitar, bass, drums... it's been done before and it'll be done again. But if the song is amazing it doesn't matter. You can't polish a turd."
~ Simon Neil
Yas i like findin wee quotes heheh =p
xx ♥
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[22 Jun 2005|06:16pm] |
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papa roach - scars |
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" Next time you're making fun of someones art, ask yourself what you're doing with your life and whether or not you're chasing your dreams. "
~Ian Watkins
That's quite a cool wee quote.. heh =p
xx ♥
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[22 Jun 2005|02:07am] |
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mood |
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absm - it opens doors (live) |
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Ok.. before anyone thinks this.. this is NOT me being big-headed lol =p i do not agree with the person who is saying that the answer is me.. ok..? lol
WHO'S HOTTER?!
Me
M. Shadows
Zacky Vengeance
Johnny Depp
n i KNOW the answer isn't me i just need to prove this person wrong with all of your answers haha =p
xx ♥
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[21 Jun 2005|03:23am] |
** and i can still see your dad, runnin after me with a shovel in his hand, i don't remember much after that, lalalala, lalalala, oh oh oh oh, lalalala, lalalala, oh oh oh oh, remember christmas eve you were cryin, i guess you didnt really like the gifts, porno DVD's and see through underwear, i shoulda saved all that for ur sis, and i can still see your dad, runnin after me with a shovel in his hand, i don't remember much after that **
i just randomly started singin that there.. no idea why. but aye.. it amuses me =)
xx ♥
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[21 Jun 2005|02:02am] |
DoMePlz? =)
Any Offers? haha =p
xx ♥
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[20 Jun 2005|05:16pm] |
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inme - you'll get there |
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Not only is there NEW HAIR .. but also .. IM SMILING IN THE PICTURES!..
except one.. n thats just.. fuckin un-natural, its cause i was talkin
to someone who was makin me all laughy n smiley hehe =p =)
( ...NEW HAIR!! )
Aye.. i needed new pics.. cause i haven't taken any new ones for a
while so ayeeeeee =) yas.. its like " sex on my head " as Lora so
nicely put it heh =p but ayeee.. anyhoo..
Am off tae Ivory Blacks!
Byeee.
xx
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[20 Jun 2005|04:56am] |
Update whorin.. yasss.. *cool face*
=D
xx ♥
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[20 Jun 2005|04:55am] |
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Memories =)
xx ♥
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[20 Jun 2005|04:08am] |
Des and Mel .. have shown me.. that the word " innit " has been stolen.. FROM NEWCASTLE PEOPLE!!
oh aye..
this is what not going to sleep does.. =)
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[20 Jun 2005|03:06am] |
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music |
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a song for a loved one |
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Trishas on!! yasss!!
Should i make a family sized lot of spaghetti carbonara..? to put it into sum kinda perspective how much i have.. thers 1 Kg of it.. .. i could eat that.. *strokes chin*
xx ♥
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[20 Jun 2005|01:49am] |
yas, i have cherries =)
xx ♥
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